


Homestuck: The Huss of Truth

by eldestbreath



Category: Homestuck, South Park
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - No Sburb Session, Magic is fake, Make-Believe Game, Medieval Roleplaying, obviously
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-25
Updated: 2015-06-25
Packaged: 2018-04-06 02:04:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,138
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4203804
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eldestbreath/pseuds/eldestbreath
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Welcome to my second Homestuck fanfiction! This crazy monstrosity is a crossover between Homestuck and the 2014 video game South Park: The Stick of Truth and is a re-imagining of both universes. In this, all the characters are about 12-13 years old, and Sburb is not a real game, but instead a make believe one. The plot is simple: after "Sburb" is completed, the humans and trolls must find a new game to play. My inspiration for this was quite literally out of nowhere, but once I started thinking about it I couldn't stop. Karkat and Cartman can be pretty much alike sometimes with how angry they get and I just thought it was perfect, so I went from there. And here we are!</p><p>If you've never played the game, don't worry; I won't be drawing too much inspiration from it or its plot. The basic structure and setting is all I'll need, and I'll outline the necessary details through the narration. So yeah, I hope you enjoy! I honestly have no idea how this is going to go, so I'm just gonna write away and see what happens. If you guys like it and want to see more, feel free to let me know in the comment section!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Homestuck: The Huss of Truth

So it's finally come to this. Three years you and your friends have been playing this stupid goddamn game, and as much fun as you've had in all that time, you're glad that it's at last coming to an end. You were starting to get worried that something would happen and force you all to start over. But that didn't happen, thank the mother grub. Lord English has finally fallen to his knees, and you and your ragtag team of god tier misfits forced him there. You have him completely surrounded. There is no escape. Not so invincible now, are you, you grubfucker?! You bark a laugh of satisfaction without meaning to, but in that moment you don't care. You raise your favorite alchemized sickle (which in reality is just a bunch of random shit taped to a piece of cardboard you carved yourself, but WHATEVER, YOU ARE PROUD OF IT OKAY) to deliver the final blow. English looks you right in the eyes, that sick traitorous bastard, the NERVE of him. You grunt disgustedly and begin to bring your weapon down on him when--

"KARKY-POO! TIME FOR DINNER!"

Fuck, goddamn it all! Your friends, troll and human alike, who were once previously wearing the most serious of expressions, are now all on the ground laughing their asses off.

Your name is Karkat Vantas, and you have never been more humiliated in front of your friends in your life.

"Ugh," you groan. "WHY does this always happen? Fucking Jegus Crab, whatever. Yuk it up, all of you, SEE IF I CARE. Yuk with the intensity of a thousand laughbeasts if you want because I promise you that it won't fucking budge me. We won anyway. Jake, take off that ugly mask, it makes you look worse than usual, and that's fucking saying a LOT."

"Aww, but we were so close!" he whines. "Can't we officially settle the score like some good-natured gentlem--" Before he has time to finish that question, you answer by throwing your sickle at him, knocking him square in the face. But since it's cardboard, it does nothing more than bounce off of his nose. His expression makes it all worth it, though, so you don't mind either way. "There, happy? You're officially defeated, game over, boo fucking hoo!"

He makes a pathetic pouting face. "Yes." Good.

"KK," you hear Sollux say behind you. You're really glad he didn't have the bulge to say Karky-poo, otherwise you might have punched him. "That wath fun. Really thtupid motht of the time, but fun. I'm going home cauthe it'th getting late and we're all tired of thith shit, tho thee ya."

Everyone else nods in agreement and says the same thing, and honestly you agree with him, despite how much it annoys you to do so. This game went on for far too long for some reason, and it always seemed to be John's wriggling day when you played it. You have no idea, but it's not important. As they start to turn away and head to their respective hives, you do the same, but just before stepping inside you faintly catch a voice saying "Have a good night, Karky-pooooo" in a singsong voice. Oh no they fucking did not. You pivot right on the spot.

"WHO. THE FUCK. JUST SAID THAT," you spit with venom, your ears practically fuming with smoke. All you got was raucous laughter as a response, followed by a group of trolls and humans running away gleefully. Fucking asshole nooksucking pieces of smoked and seasoned shit, they all are. You want to tell them off and hand them the threat of the century. So you do, or start to. Unbeknownst to you, a tall figure silently "YOU BETTER NOT SAY THAT AGAIN OR I SWEAR TO GOD I WILL F--"

"Karkat Vantas, do you want to finish that sentence?" Oh fuck. It's your troll mom. She looks like Kanaya, but way older. She took you in because you remind her of your ancestor, or something. You don't know. What you do know is that you don't want to make her angry. You are just the teensy bit frightened by her. But you would never admit that.

"Uh. No. Not at all. Nope," you say, stammering a bit.

"Good. I didn't think so. Now get inside the hive this instant and get yourself washed up before I put you in time-out." You make a small little 'eep' sound, totally unlike yourself. You privately thank your lucky stars that your friends are now long gone and are not bearing witness to this utter disgraceful performance of yours. Whatever anger or bravado you had just moments ago vanished at the mention of time-out. You hate time-out. Please god, anything but that. "I mean it, mister! March!" And so you do, tail between your legs, if trolls have tails. Which they don't. But damn, that would be cool, wouldn't it?

With a sense of purpose (that purpose being avoiding punishment at all costs), you step into your ablution chamber and perform the necessary cleaning rituals that are customary for your kind. You dry your hair and try to tidy it up as best you can for dinner, then get dressed and head downstairs into the dining room. Whatever was cooking smells really good.

"I made your favorite: Mac 'n' cheese with snacky cakes on the side!" Holy shit. What a great way to end today's events. Despite your usual demeanor, you can't help but abandon the crabbiness for a moment and allow yourself a genuine smile, one which your guardian returns. She knows just how to get through to you and goddamn it you hate that you love it so much, but not really. "There's the Karkat I know and love. Now eat up!" You sit at the table, and your mouth begins to water. You pick up the three-stick poking device (you refuse to call it a fork) and start scooping up some macaroni, but are immediately interrupted. "Ah, ah, ah," she says scoldingly. "Did you forget something?" Oh right. You forgot to say grace. Though you are a troll, and not human, you still have a sort of "religion" that you follow at home. It's nothing crazy like Gamzee's strange chucklevoodoo-type-shit. Actually, you're honoring the memory of your ancestor, since Mom is and always has been one of his staunchest supporters. Feeling embarrassed and slightly afraid that she might send you to time-out for making such an idiotic mistake, you sheepishly put your hands together and shut your see-orbs as you recite the prayer in English.

"He carries all our pain  
And one day his strife is forgotten  
However, we are forgiven.

Our kin are separated by colour of blood.  
We are without without love or virtue.  
However, we are forgiven. Amen."

"That's much better," Mom says kindly. She had been idly fingering the Sufferer's symbol on her necklace the whole time, which she never takes off. "Although I would have preferred our language. I don't want you to forget where you came from."

"I'll do it next time, I promise," you say with a small voice. "May I eat now?"

She eyes you for a moment, as if trying to uncover some dark secret you're hiding underneath your skin. It makes you nervous, but then she chuckles a little and gives you a warm smile. "Go ahead, you silly goofball."

You're the goofball, goofball! is what you wanted to say, but you have a reputation to keep up. Not even Mom could ruin that for you, try as she might. Shoving the thought of calling her, or anyone else for that matter, a goofball out of your mind, you dig into the delicious wonders that is mac 'n' cheese. Humans are essentially the biggest fuck-ups in the history of forever, but you cannot deny that they got something right for once. The next few minutes are spent in near silence as you finish up your dinner and don't forget to take care of your dishes. With a half-eaten snacky cake in your hand, you make your way back upstairs to your respiteblock. By the time you get there, your dessert has been fully devoured, and rightly so. Shit's delicious, but it doesn't make your tummy any smaller. You're not fat, but you have a little chub here and there. You hate it but you're too lazy to do anything about it. Mom kinda spoils you and you are not complaining there. You feel pretty tired at this point, so you immediately change into your Crabman pajamas (he's seriously the coolest superhero ever and you don't give a shit about what anyone else thinks because they're all wrong) and climb into bed with your touchspeaking device. Okay, fine, it's a phone. That rolls off the tongue so much better. Damn these humans and their convenient naming schemes. Anyway, you open up Trollian and notice that a couple people have been trying to get in contact with you. You're kind of a big deal around here, so you guess it makes sense. The first message you pull up is from Gamzee.

terminallyCapricious [TC] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

TC: HeY kArBrO, wHaT tHe MoThErFuCk Is HaPpEnInG?  
CG: HOLY SHIT, GAMZEE. I LITERALLY JUST SAW YOU LIKE A HALF HOUR AGO, AND IT'S LATE NOW. WHAT DO YOU THINK IS HAPPENING.  
TC: WeLl I dOn'T kNoW, BuT mE AnD tHe GuYs WeRe AlL uP aNd WoNdErIn WhAt We'Re GoNnA aLl Up AnD dO nOw SiNcE tHe GaMe Is oVeR.  
CG: I DUNNO, FIND ANOTHER GAME TO PLAY???  
CG: WHO DO YOU THINK I AM, THE MASTER OF FUCKING COMING UP WITH BRAND NEW IDEAS RIGHT ON THE SPOT?  
CG: I MEAN, I WOULDN'T BLAME YOU FOR ASSUMING THAT, SINCE IT'S BEEN KNOWN TO HAPPEN BEFORE.  
CG: I DUNNO, GAMZEE. I'LL HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT. THEN I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.  
TC: SoUnDs MoThErFuCkIn GoOoOoOoOd, BeSt FrIeNd. HeHe. OoOoOoOoOoOo  
CG: OH MY GOD  
CG: BYE  


terminallyCapricious [TC] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

Well, that was annoying as hell. But from Gamzee, what else do you expect? Seriously, you just don't understand that guy sometimes. He needs to lay off the sopor. It'd do him good, you think. Now that that is out of the way, you begrudgingly decide to answer the second person actively keeping you from having a good night's sleep. You sigh when you see who it is. But you answer anyway.

caligulasAquarium [CA] began trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

CA: kar wwhere the fuck are you i need to talk to you  
CG: I'M HERE. WHAT DO YOU WANT.  
CA: finally i wwas about to glubbin leavve forevver  
CG: OH GOD, ANYTHING BUT THAT. I COULDN'T HANDLE BEING OUT YOUR LIFE "FOREVVER".  
CA: fuck you kar this is serious  
CA: anywway  
CA: i wwas talkin to gam and a feww of the others  
CA: trolls and humans alike because wwhy the glub not  
CA: and since wwere done wwith the game i had an idea  
CG: OH THIS IS GONNA BE GOOD. LAY IT ON ME, O ENDLESS FONT OF CREATIVE BULLSHIT.  
CA: wwe could start another game  
CA: somethin different but kind a the same concept  
CG: GET TO THE POINT ALREADY.  
CA: i wwas thinkin  
CA: medieval knights and fuckin wwizards and shit  
CG: SO YOU WANT TO PLAY HUMAN DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS. BUT AS IF WE'RE FLARPING.  
CA: kinda yeah  
CA: i think its a pretty good idea  
CA: and it wwouldnt be hard to make it happen  
CG: EXCEPT. YOU KNOW. COMING UP WITH ALL THE RULES AND SHIT.  
CG: REMEMBER HOW LONG THAT TOOK FOR SBURB? IT WASN'T DONE IN AN HOUR.  
CA: wwhatevver  
CA: it can be glubbin done and thats that basically  
CA: wwhat do you think  
CG: I DON'T KNOW YET. WE'VE ONLY JUST FINISHED SBURB. LET ME THINK ABOUT IT.  
CA: okay then see you later  
CG: I RELISH THE FUCKING DAY THAT HAPPENS.  
caligulasAquarium [CA] ceased trolling carcinoGeneticist [CG]

You shut your phone off and place it on your recupercoon stand. Honestly, that's not a totally horrendous idea. You're surprised that it came from Eridan, of all people, but all the same you can't help but feel that the idea is at least a little appealing. He was right, it wouldn't be very hard to set up. But rules and regulations are what keep this fucking world afloat and in orbit, so if you are going to bring this up to the guys you better believe that it will be perfect. You decide to sleep on it for now. Since it's currently summer break, you'll have plenty of time to map things out. Assuming you actually follow through with it.

Spoiler alert: You do. And with that, you curl up and fall asleep within a few minutes.

**Author's Note:**

> I know this was very introductory and not a lot actually happened, but I wanted to take the time here to establish some of the nuances of this particular alternate universe. Again, if you guys want this to become a thing, just lemme know! I'll write the first real chapter anyway just to get things going, but after that it's up to you. :)


End file.
